Dude...what is your passion in life?

My youngest son, Kevin, came to see me this afternoon.  It means the world to me to have time with my handsome sons, especially to see their smiles, hear their laughs, feel their hugs and smell their smells.  Today I fell in love with his underarm deodorant when we hugged!  (Smelled divine!)

He shared a recent adventurous time he had at Lake Nacimiento with some friends and a  random question he was asked that he initially had a hard time answering because he just did not know the answer.  "Dude...what is your passion in life?"  It took him three days pondering over the depth of such a simple question.

How many of us know our passion in life?  Have YOU tapped into your passion in life?

I think the best way to know the passions we have in life, the passions that make us feel alive, are those we can remember from childhood that we engaged in.  If you take the time to remember those years, what did you most love, do and were drawn to?  As a child we were more fearless and without reservations in what we loved to do and be about.  This is a source. Compared with others, I feel I do live this way, but certainly now would like to be more involved with those passions that are mine for me.

Whether we can make our passion our occupation or not, I feel it is important to tap into passions as hobbies, not just dreams without legs, and to experience a flavor or color of our passions each and every day for a full and happy life.  Passions do not necessarily equal money.  (But if so, save for those passions!)  For example, when I was a child I loved living on the edge, dangerously, adventurously and without limit or worry.  Recently I experienced the excitement of riding on a "really gynormous" bus for free to and from our local street fair on the 4th of July.  I always wondered what riding a bus that size that would be like.  The sway around corners, the vast windows and length of this traveling Twinkie just left me in awe.  I was both afraid (what if we crashed on the freeway without wearing seat belts?) and excited (no one could see in the windows from the outside) and enjoyed this passion just for me.  But, what made the experience even better was sharing it with someone I loved and literally cost me nothing but a choice.  Simple decisions or pricey choices.  What is worth our passions?

Some things that truly make me feel alive and touch my soul, much like literature does, include: making someone smile or easing the discomfort of an animal; reading, writing, classical music and swimming, especially swimming in warm water at night; playing Scrabble and dressing/creating paper dolls; finding neat rocks and shells during a hike or walk on the beach; growing an organic garden and cooking; preparing a delicious meal and watching faces savor what I have cooked; laughing, and laughing hard, from the gut, with tears pouring down my face.  I could just go on and on.  I also love coloring with crayons and playing hopscotch.

Taking a few minutes to tap into your passions and to explore the reasons behind those passions is well worth a spot on the calendar!

Have fun!

Wine Wager...Part I

Trust me, if you ever make a bet or wager anything while sitting in a hot tub, fully clothed, with wine glass #3 in your hand, you are gonna lose!  Do not even go there!  Thus, the luau party I will be providing in the near future to include 50 hula dancers for dear friends!

Let me back up to the days preceding this wager...my husband, Lee, and I have thought about trying to buy a house for the past year or so.  The housing market is fantastic right now with extremely low interest rates, plus I desperately need a tax write-off for my home business.  Also, our lease was due to expire on the home we have rented for the past almost 8 years.  We really did not want to continue renting and our landlord has been becoming extremely more unstable and hostile.  (Mimicking senility or severe mood swings).  However, I just could not foresee us actually being able to make this happen.  Us buying a home?  We know so many people who are home owners, but also know so many home renters, like us, as well.  Hence, the wager.  While my girlfriend and I sat in that hot tub, we discussed the possibilities and she encouraged me/us to move forward (she has already done this multiple times).  We sealed the conversation with the promise of a luau (her fiancee threw in the request for hula girls!) only if we were actually able to buy a home.

We will be closing escrow this week.

So, as first time home buyers, we have learned a lot and also have battle wounds from this whole process. It has been said that buying a home or moving is as stressful as going through a divorce or dealing with a death of a loved one.  It's true.  Whoever says that buying a home is exciting and wonderful and so satisfying, I would like to know who "whoever" is so I can duct tape their mouths shut.  I feel this is cruel and unrealistic advice.  But, I'm not to the "wonderful" part.  In all actuality, it is a grueling process, short of giving blood.  We have not stepped into the "satisfying" part yet.  I will blog that in Part II at a later date.  But until then, I am going to share some reality tips I hope will be helpful to anyone thinking about buying a house for the very first time.

I wish we had someone who would have just explained the process in simple terms, step-by-step.  So far, these are some of the things we have gone through and steps we have taken:  Research, read, ask a ton of questions; find an agent who narrows down your search and shows you properties; look at properties; be prepared for bidding wars, i.e., there are more buyers than homes available; make an offer (the agent does this for you) on a home you are interested in (we made two separate offers on two separate homes, one was a short sale and did not work out, the other is the home we have bought and our offer was accepted, short of a miracle!); be connected to a lender or middle man (usually a referral from your agent); put an amount down through escrow (thank God for my 403 B!) to secure your offer; escrow company steps in (the middle-middle man); home inspection (paid for by you!); home appraisal (paid for by you through escrow company out of your funds); work on clearing all conditions (buyer and seller), things like repairs or credit corrections; the grueling process of paperwork and proving you are not a drug cartel member or living under a different identity through your lender; more conditions needing cleared by mortgage company who was now stepped in (who you will pay your monthly mortgage to) connected with your lender; more paperwork; did I say more paperwork?; property walk-thru and closing escrow day.

There is SO MUCH involved in buying a home.  We were fortunate to have a 60 day escrow because renters are living in the home.  I cannot imagine getting all of this done in 30 days, the time of most escrows closing.  The very best thing one could ever do is to own a fax/scanner, have a cell phone and computer at your fingertips and be a multitasker!  Because I work from home and AM a multitasker, I believe this saved us.  Otherwise, you will be quite busy during your after work hours, evenings and weekends.

On to some tips:


Tip #1:  Read, research and ask questions!

Equipping yourselves with every little detail with buying a home will save your sanity.  Talk to those who have gone through this process.  Ask as many questions as you can until you understand.  A great site that is free and hosts discussion boards, blogs, professional advice and so much more resources can be found at Zillow: http://www.zillow.com/.

Tip #2:  Having no debt is NOT always a good thing!

Unfortunately, my lack of a car payment (paid off a few years ago) and credit cards and no debt whatsoever did NOTHING to help my credit score.  Thankfully we had time to add me to all of my husband's debt!  Amazingly having his debts increased my score!  (This makes no sense to me to this day!)  The wisest thing anyone can do is pay their bills on time every month and maintain credit cards and other debts with minimal balances, because this is where the credit scores come in and help secure good interest rates for a mortgage.   (CREDIT SCORES ARE IMPORTANT FOR HOME BUYING!!!)

Tip #3:  Find a good agent AND a multitasking lender!

Like your agent.  They will work for you.  It is so important to almost love your agent and to trust them explicitly, as they will no doubt refer you to a lender, who is basically the "middle man" in the home buying process.  Try not to hate your lender! I said try, right?  At least keep your burning feelings undercover! The information they need from you is a grueling, continual process that does not stop until the very end.  Be prepared for that.

More to come...

A pitcher plant and a bee

After over three hours, I just could not stand it anymore.  I watched the little honey bee venturing into the mouth of one of our pitcher plants.  He was mesmerized by the sweet scent, completely unaware of the long, suffering death he faced.  Once the bee passed over the outer rim or lip of the pitcher mouth, it was all over for the poor guy.  He fought hard to climb up and escape, literally hours at it.

There is nothing more exciting and suspenseful than watching a pitcher plant devour a bug with your own eyes.  I don't mind the nasty flies and small "no seeum" bugs being sucked into the pitcher plant's alluring trap, but this bee was another story.

We have two different types of pitcher plants.  Both plants engage in the same eating frenzy. They are great plants to have where you may have a bug or mosquito problem.  The pitcher plant stores up a sweet-smelling juice that literally lures insects into its mouth.  Unfortunately, once the insect is about to sip, they instead slide and fall down the pitcher of the plant into an abyss of fluid, losing energy to climb back up and being overpowered by fate.  This bee wasn't about to give up his life!

The pitcher plant eventually "eats" the insects.  The juice or liquid in a pitcher plant is similar to nectar, which is why an insect such as a bee is attracted so easily to feed, however, the juice contains chemicals similar to our own stomach's digestive system. Basically, the plant slowly munches away and the insect eventually dissolves, becoming part of the very juice it tried to drink.

Back to the bee...after watching his struggle all morning long, I just had to help him out.  I gently bent the pitcher down and patiently waited for him to climb out, which he did, and pretty quickly.  Away he flew, and I am really hoping he is thankful for his freedom.  I hope he shares this act of kindness with his friends and I can go the rest of my life without being stung.  What do you think?  Helping this bee actually made my day, one tiny humane effort in this enormous world we live in.  I believe everything makes a difference, do you?